I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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