Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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