She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
