I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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