SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
