I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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