All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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