I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
