Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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