This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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