youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
