I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
