standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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