TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
