I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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