Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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