i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
