do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
