Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
