At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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