thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
