I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just tell him i said nine months
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
