Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I want to make a zoo with you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize