dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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