Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize