You can't motorboat a personality
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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