Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
