this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
