hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
