butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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