I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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