Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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