Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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