i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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