I am spending my child support on dildos
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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