i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
