I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What a dumb baby whore.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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