I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
