maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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