how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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