I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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