yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
