how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
