Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
