Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
