I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
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