i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
