She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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