I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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