I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
