this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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