I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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