Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you would pick up someone in the library
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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