after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
