May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
