You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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