I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
