So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
