You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My vagina is officially offended.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize