I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
